so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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