just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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