420 ftw
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
