New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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