Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
