I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
