dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He felt like a one man threesome
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
