his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
