I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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