Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
