i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
