New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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