I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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