So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize