If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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