The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
