Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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