He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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