I smell stomach acid.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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