Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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