the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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