my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I love you. Go after that dick
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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