oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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