Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize