I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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