So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize