i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize