absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How does one acquire holy water?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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