I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
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Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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