Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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