You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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