all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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