i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
where are my eyebrows?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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