idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
