Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i dont even know how to be here
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
