my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
