So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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