New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
