There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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