Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
