I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
