do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
