just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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