Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
