the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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