i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
