It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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