so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize