I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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