i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He better not be in your backpack
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
