I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
