We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
